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14 Ways to Love Your Husband, Part 2

February 14, 2017 by Ellen 5 Comments

Valentine’s Day is here! I’m sharing some hints on loving your husband. The list is endless, so I’ve narrowed it down to fourteen. Feel free to pop over to Part 1 for the first seven helpful hints.

8. Forgive
Let’s face it. Guys sometimes don’t think like we do. My sweet husband was concerned about weight I had gained several years back – and rightly so! It was more than I had ever weighed in my life. However, when he was talking with me about it, he used the “O” word – obesity. Now, before you get your feathers in a ruffle, he DID NOT say I was obese. He was just concerned that I was headed in that direction. But, bless his heart, you just don’t use that word when you are talking to a woman about her weight. I don’t think I spoke to him for two days. TWO DAYS. Two days out of our lives that are wasted, because I didn’t have the sense and maturity to forgive him. Ladies, please don’t ever waste precious time away from your husband like I did. Forgive him. “…love keeps no record of wrongs.” 1 Corinthians 13:5

9. Your home, his castle
Make your home a safe haven for you hubby. Make it a peaceful place for him. John travels quite a bit. When he’s gone, I don’t cook, do laundry or dishes. But when he walks through the door, I try to make sure all the mess is picked up (not tonight, I’m writing tonight). Ok, I’m not as good at this as I use to be. I’ve relaxed a lot in my old age. But I do try to be his helpmate. I know he’ll be tired when he comes home, so if necessary I take care of chores that he usually does. Yes, like take the trash out and put a fresh 5 gallon water bottle on the cooler (Heavy!). Make your home a peaceful, loving place. He’ll look forward to arriving at his castle each evening!

10. Be Kind
Titus 2:4-5 says that older women are to encourage the younger women to love their husbands and children, and to be kind (among other things). I thought it odd that the younger women had to be taught how to be kind. After all, kindness begins at home, doesn’t it? Sometimes you would never know this by the way I act. I can be kinder to a stranger in Wal-mart than I can to my husband, when I’m in “a mood.” Let’s be kind to our husbands, “so that the word of God may not be dishonored.” (Titus 2:5).

11. Practice Patience. Count to ten. Then, count to ten again. And again, and again.

14 ways pt 2

12. Don’t Husband Bash
Ever been in a conversation with some girlfriends that went something like this:

“You wouldn’t believe what a slob my husband is. I wish he would learn to pick up his stuff!”
“You think yours is a slob, mine is such an idiot! He can’t even make the simplest repairs around the house!”

And on it goes, getting worse and worse. This is dangerous and destructive behavior. It is contagious and spreads like a virus! RUN FROM IT! Husband bashing is extremely damaging to your marriage. The more you dwell on your perceived wrongs in your husband, the more unhappy you will become.

Don’t participate in these conversations. Try to steer them back to positive aspects of your spouses. If you can’t, I say again: RUN FROM IT!

Be especially careful in front of the children or grandchildren. They need to see your respect for your man, not your scorn for him.

13. Say Thank You. Always. For every little thing. Let him know you appreciate him.

14. Laugh Laughing together is good medicine for any marriage. And it relieves stress.

Remember, there are many, many ways you can love on and encourage your sweet hubby each day. Be alert to hints he may unknowingly give. You won’t be sorry!

(This post first appeared February 2015)

Grace be with you,

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14 Ways to Love Your Husband, Part 1

February 9, 2017 by Ellen 7 Comments

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching. This week and next, I’ll share with you some suggestions I’ve learned over the years for loving your husband. I’m not perfect at this. Matter of fact, I’m writing it as a reminder to myself: These are things I need to put into practice, or continue practicing, in my marriage.

1. Respect
In her book “What Men Need Most,” Shaunti Feldhan states “The most important aspect of demonstrating respect: It is a choice. A choice we make out of reverence for God and love for our husbands. Just as men can choose to demonstrate love toward us even if they don’t feel it at the moment, so we can and should demonstrate respect toward them.” Choose to respect your husband. Hold him in high esteem. Respect his leadership in your family (1 Cor. 11:3). Respect his provision for your family. Decrease the complaints and increase the compliments. Show respect to him with your body language and actions. Do you roll your eyes when he makes a comment? Do you slam a door or throw things when you’re angry (yes, I have). Let’s stop. Let’s show more respect to our husbands.

2. Hugs, hugs, hugs! Hug your husband frequently!

3. Listen
In my opinion, this shows the highest respect. When someone looks you in the eye, and focuses on you while you are talking, you know they care. Take time to listen to your husband. Listen with your ears, your eyes and your body language. Show him you care.

4. Encourage
Give your husband some encouragement. Be his biggest cheerleader. He works hard. Give him a standing ovation when he comes home from work. Tell him what a great job he does with repairs around the house. If the yard looks great after he mows and trims it, let him know. Acknowledge his job well done. When you admire what he’s done or how he’s handled a situation, be sure you tell him. These words will go a long way to lift your husband’s spirits: “Honey, you handled that so well!”

5. Pray
Prayer and respect should always be at the top of your list of ways to love your husband. Lift him up in prayer. His spirit needs reviving as much as anyone’s. Ask him how you can pray for him. Then do it. Right then (I’m sorely lacking in the ‘pray for him now’ category!). Pray for strength as he leads your family. Pray for his spiritual growth. Pray that he would be a man after God’s own heart.

6. Hold hands. Bring a little bit of first love back into your marriage by holding hands.

7. Leave him a love note. Hide it in his computer bag or his sock drawer. What a sweet surprise!

Be sure to come back next week for seven more helpful hints!

Grace be with you,

(This post first appeared February, 2015)

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