{I met Betsy deCruz in person at She Speaks in 2014. We had been online friends through Compel-Writing Words that Move People. Betsy’s a little bitty thing, with a huge heart for encouraging women to get into God’s word, so their faith can spill out. It was at Betsy’s encouragement that I began to blog weekly, rather than every two weeks! Thank you my friend!}
Do you ever get in a snit when the people in your life unexpectedly change your plans? I certainly wasn’t expecting visitors to arrive one and a half hours early while I was still in my pajamas.
After a leisurely Sunday breakfast, I was cleaning the kitchen while my husband took our daughter to skating practice. I looked at the clock. If I timed everything just right, I could take a shower and finish preparing lunch for fifteen people before our house church started at noon.
The doorbell interrupted my thoughts. The first guests had already arrived.
Panicked, I ran down the hall to my son’s room.
“Andres!” I called. “Answer the door! I’ve got to take a shower!”
I raced into the bathroom, locked the door, and somehow emerged fifteen minutes later with clothes and makeup on. I’d love to say I was calm and peaceful while I made tea and talked with our visitors, but I’d be lying. On the inside I was hot and bothered and fretting over how I was going to have lunch ready for our house church.
I worried needlessly. Everything turned out fine, and we had a great meeting.
Believe it or not, I’ve found myself in pajamas when guests arrive lots of times.
I live in the Middle East, where spontaneity reigns supreme. People arrive late, early, or they may pop in for a surprise. You plan tea and cake for three ladies, and eight show up.
Kind of hard for a planner girl like me. A girl trying to be Jesus to the people around her. Only they can’t really see Him if she’s in a snit because they’re bumping into her plans.
People Change Our Plans
You probably face unexpected interruptions because you have people in your life too. The school calls to say your child is sick. Your teen ran out of contact lens solution. Your husband needs a favor. Most days bring at least one assignment you didn’t count on.
I get frustrated more often than I’d like to admit when my people need something I didn’t expect. It goes to show how selfish I can be. I’m probably the only one who reacts this way, but just in case you do too, here’s a plan we can work on together:
How to Not Get Hot and Bothered by Interruptions
Kiss the Old You Goodbye
The Old Betsy gets bent out of shape when someone needs a favor she wasn’t expecting. She gets a martyr complex and starts an inner rant about boundaries. If you’re anything like me, stop in your tracks and tell that Old You to take a hike.
Let God Renew Your Attitude
Of course we need healthy boundaries, but sometimes what we view as an interruption might be God’s assignment. Will we be faithful and go the extra mile to serve someone else? As we ask the Holy Spirit to change our attitude, He’ll give us the grace we need.
Put on the New You
Think about how Jesus would respond in your situation. Then in faith put on a smile and do that. Do that Jesus thing. Put on the New You, the one created to be like God.
The next time someone needs something I didn’t expect, I don’t want to get crabby on them. Instead, I want to consider that it might be God’s assignment, an opportunity to step out and put on the New Me.
Now it’s your turn: How do you handle it when people bump into your plans?
Betsy and I love to hear your thoughts! Everyone who comments on her post this week, will be entered to win a copy of Susie Larson’s Your Sacred Yes and Everyday Confetti by Karen Ehman & Glynnis Whitwer. Shower Betsy with your love and comments! Winner to be announced next week.
Betsy de Cruz enjoys God, life with teenagers, and dark roast coffee. She and her crazy nomad family are currently spending 9 months in Dallas, Texas, but they look forward to returning to Turkey, their favorite home. Betsy’s passion is to encourage women to get God’s Word in, so their faith can spill out, even during life’s bumpy moments. She writes about everyday faith at faithspillingover.com. You can also connect with Betsy on Twitter , Facebook, and Pinterest.
Katie says
Great to see you two in the same place. Loved this lost Betsy. I needed these tips for sure!
Katie says
Meant say “post” not “lost” 😁
Ellen says
So glad you stopped by today Katie!
Betsy de Cruz says
Thanks so much for opening up your doors for me today, Ellen. It’s a privilege to participate in the anniversary of your blog. So glad you’re posting weekly to your blog, friend. 🙂 Blessings on the rest of your week.
Ellen says
I’m am so proud to have you as part of my celebration, sweet friend! THANK YOU!
Carmen Horne says
Aww man, now there you go meddling in my life Betsy. Gettin all up in my business 🙂
Do you know how many areas in my life need to be told this truth, “tell that Old You to take a hike.”? I must remind myself that’s who I used to be. I’m a new creation and I am renewing my mind daily. Convicting words like yours today are apart of that renewal. Thank my friend.
Thank you Ellen for sharing dear Betsy with us today. xxxooo
Ellen says
Oh, Carmen, it’s an honor and pleasure to share Betsy’s words of wisdom! Glad you stopped by friend!
Betsy de Cruz says
Amen, Carman! That Old Betsy and that Old Carmen are part of our past. Let’s live renewed friend, even when people bump into our plans!
Betsy de Cruz says
I meant CarmEn. 🙂
Lisa Appelo @Trueandfaithful.net says
You always seem to nail that inner conflict Betsy. Oh boy have I been there. Thank you for great takeaways…Lord help me be about people, not presentation.
Ellen says
Oh, what a wonderful prayer Lisa: Help me to be about people, not presentation! So thankful for Betsy’s insights!
Betsy de Cruz says
Thank you, Lisa. I’ve had that inner dialogue so many times. Truly wanted to grow.
Karin Dancy says
I simply love this – thank you for sharing these words of wisdom, Ellen! I especially appreciate the nudge that interruptions may be God’s assignments – because they usually are just that! Consider me happily nudged. 🙂
Ellen says
So glad you stopped by Karin! Betsy always has excellent advice for us!
Betsy de Cruz says
Thanks for your encouragement, Karin. Blessings.
Michele Morin says
Ellen, I’m finding your place via Betsy’s lovely words today.
And Betsy, I’m like you . . . the least change to my plans can set my hair aflame. My patient husband tells me that I need to practice saying, “Oh, well . . .” over and over again, because, truly, there are some things that just can’t be helped.
This is where taking my hands off and praying emergency prayers has to begin.
I love how you’ve said all this.
Now, for me, it’s the doing . . . and there’s no rehearsal for the unexpected!
Betsy de Cruz says
You’re right, Michele! There’s no rehearsal for the unexpected. Only Holy Spirit control. Sometimes it’s hard to judge too. Is this really a valid interruption? (I couldn’t go into that.) But we all know as wives and mothers, really we can’t always make that decision. We just flex!
Ellen says
Oh my goodness Michelle! I love your hubby’s advice! I think I may be able to remember that! Even when my temper’s up because my well laid out plans have changed! Thanks so much for visiting today!
Liz says
This is so great! You are right…Jesus was never too busy! Thanks for your attitude adjusting words today!
Betsy de Cruz says
You’re welcome, Liz!
Ellen says
Liz, I’m so glad you popped over for a visit! PS – your blog name makes me giggle every time I see it! You should see MY messy desk!
Linda Perkins says
Did you write this for me? I have been trying to take the day off sick today, and yet I have a client who doesn’t have ESP and wants things from me NOW! Yes, I need an attitude adjustment! Thank you for reminding me to provide service with a smile on days like this, knowing that’s it’s how I can serve God best and gain His peace as our reward. Yes, this is how we “clothes ourselves in humility” and I need God’s help to do that!
Betsy de Cruz says
Oh bless your heart, Linda. That sounds hard! I hope you’re feeling better soon. It’s a lot harder to respond as Jesus would when we’re sick!!!
Ellen says
Oh Linda, praying you feel better soon. And I know exactly how you feel: When I’m hurting, I get quite cranky!! I love Betsy’s reminder to toss our old selves out!
Lyli @3dlessons4life.com says
Ellen: Welcome to Thought-Provoking Thursday! Thank you for sharing Betsy’s wonderfully encouraging words with us. (Love her!) — I just signed up for Compel Training last night, by the way. I need to get in there an dig around a bit, but have not had time to today.
Betsy: I am going to save this post for the next time I get crabby. Thanks for encouraging us to choose wisely when life throws us a curve ball.
🙂
Ellen says
Lyli, you will LOVE Compel. Great teaching and wonderful community!I’m so glad I found your link up! Looking forward to getting to know you all!
Betsy de Cruz says
Lyli, thanks for the encouragement about my post. Do you know I just signed up for Compel again! I’d cancelled my membership about 9 months ago, but have really missed it, so I’m excited to be part again. See you there!
Karen Del Tatto says
Thank you for your honesty in this post.
I am definitely a “ducks in a row” planner, and when those plans are upset, I can become annoyed. We tend to have the flip side. Friends who are ALWAYS incredibly late, to the point where dinner is now ruined because I’m trying to figure out how to keep it while we wait for our guests. I try to put on a smile, but I know I’m not myself just the same.
Thank you for reminding me to put on the mind of Christ and to ask God what He is trying to teach me in that moment.
Ellen says
Karen, it can be so hard to give up our “right” to be annoyed and put on the mind of Christ, can’t it? When I read your comment, I knew instantly how you felt – I’ve been there so many times myself! I have to remind myself that it’s (at least for me) a control issue! And I need to give that control over to Him! Thank you so much for visiting today, and sharing your thoughts!
Tami says
Hi, Betsy! I just saw your post on incourage.me and followed you over here. I live in a similar situation to you, making tea, and wondering if the rice will actually be soft and nice in time for our group to eat! I’ve yelled out for my kids to answer the door as I shut messy bedroom doors and get dressed, as well! My oldest is almost 13, so we aren’t quite as far along as you are in that, but I’ve lived in the region since I graduated from college. I’m glad you were on incourage so that I could find you!
Ellen says
Tami, so glad you found your way here from inCourage! I’m trying to take Betsy’s advice and not let interruptions fluster me! Not as successful at it as I’d like to be! Thanks for stopping by!
Betsy de Cruz says
Tami, I’d love to hear more about your experience overseas. (I’m always wondering if my rice will be nice and fluffy or glumpy and sticky!) Thanks so much for following me over here all the way from (in)Courage! Blessings.
Alisa Nicaud says
Oh Betsy! This post came at the right time. I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve gotten interrupted today while trying to homeschool my 5 kids! I LOVE order and routine and when things don’t go my way, I can’t get my feathers ruffled. Right now, I want to tell everyone to go away and leave me alone, but instead I’m telling my old self to “take a hike!” Just because I feel irritated doesn’t mean I have to respond to it. Thanks for that reminder.
Ellen says
Oh Alisa, bless your heart! I can’t imagine homeschooling 5 kids! I think many of us have told our old self to take a hike after Betsy’s wonderful reminder!So glad you stopped by today! Good to meet another Louisiana Compel member!
Betsy de Cruz says
Oh Alisa! Bless you heart! May the Lord soothe your “ruffled feathers” today, friend. Actually home school is ONE AREA where I’m not all that flexible to interruptions. I don’t answer the phone much during school, and I hardly answer the door. I tell all of my friends I’m available after 2:30. Not before. When the kids got to high school age, that became even more crucial.
I do flex for SOME interruptions during school, but not much. I figure it’s my job, and I want to give my kids the best education possible. (Now when those interruptions come from the kids themselves, or my husband, or it’s an emergency, that’s different!) Blessings and grace to you, friend.
Melanie Redd says
Oh, Betsy!
To put off that old attitude and put on the new! Always a great thing, but daily a challenge!
What a great word today.
Found you on RaRa.
Hope you have a blessed day~
Melanie
Ellen says
Melanie, so glad you stopped by today from the RaRa Linkup! Yes, what a challenge it is to put on the new! But we must stretch ourselves and encourage others to move beyond their comfortable also! May God’s grace abound to you today and always!
Gayl says
“I get frustrated more often than I’d like to admit when my people need something I didn’t expect.” I think this happens to most of us, Betsy, if we are honest. I don’t want it to be that way, and I am learning to recognize that many of these interruptions might just be from God and that He has something to teach me in these situations. I pray that I will continue to become more Christlike in my responses to interruptions in my day. Thank you for this honest look and for sharing your story!
Ellen says
Divine interruptions. Oh how I wish I would always SEE them! Thank you for your insights and encouragement Gayle. Blessings to you today!
Kathy says
Having a teenager who likes to spring things on me last minute, I’ve become more flexible, but guests popping by..I love it, but not when I’m getting ready to go out,..I’d be tense like you. I kept thinking of Martha and Mary reading your blog, maybe we need to let go of our busyness and anxieties more and more, and be what Jesus wants..hospitable..Love the idea you pose of letting go of our old ways!
Ellen says
Kathy, sadly I identify with Martha, but I strive to be more like Mary! Thank you for visiting today. Blessings!