Ellen Chauvin | Soaked & Sprouting

Soaked in God's Word, Sprouting Seeds of Faith

Remembering Mama: We’ll Never Leave You

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Deep pools of blue stared intently at me, listening to each and every word that came out of my mouth. If the saying is true that “the eyes are windows to the soul”, then I was getting a glimpse into my mama’s soul. What I saw staring back at me was complete and total trust and love. Deep, deep, pools of love and trust.

“Mama, you’ve had a stroke. It was pretty bad. You can’t move your right side, and you can’t speak properly.”

Mama slowly nodded, her eyes never leaving mine. Eyes still full of trust, it was as if the words coming out of my mouth were a lifeline for her. Only, I didn’t have much to offer.

“We may need to put you into a nursing home for rehab. But only until you get better! It will be a nursing home that has specialized physical therapy for stroke patients.”

She nodded again. The complete trust was replaced with a tiny frown on her forehead. I knew what she was thinking. She had always told us “Please don’t put me in a nursing home, if you can help it.”

“Mama, we are not going to put you there and forget you. You are going there to get better! We will be there every day. We won’t leave you. I promise it won’t be like the time you and Daddy got locked in the psych ward! I promise!”

The look of trust returned, and a lop-sided grin replaced the frown on her face.

My brothers, sister and I made a promise to Mama that we would never leave her or abandon her. She trusted us with everything in her mama’s heart. She knew how much we loved her, and that we would keep our promise to her. She could trust us.

We were true to our word. That night almost six years ago, when Mama slipped away from us and into the arms of Jesus, we were right there with her. Even when the coroner took her away on the gurney, we stayed beside her. Because we had promised.


People may come and go in our lives. Some will even abandon us. But God is with us forever. It’s His promise.

“…for He Himself has said, I will never leave you or forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5b (HCSB)

I love how the Amplified translation states it:
“I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. [I will] not, [I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let you down (relax My hold on you)! [Assuredly not!]” Hebrews 13:5b

Assuredly, He will not, will not, WILL NOT, relax His hold on us or leave us without support. He won’t let us down or leave us helpless. He won’t. We can trust Him, because He loves us. And that love will never fail us.

This promise is everlasting. There is no time limit. You can’t do anything that will make Him go back on His word. It stands forever.

Forever. I can live with that, how about you?

Father in Heaven, thank You for the promises You have given – that You will never, never, never abandon us! Thank You for loving us that much! In the precious name of Jesus, Amen.

Grace be with you,

Never Say Never

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I never dreamed when I lost Mama that I would gain a sister…

“All I have to say is, we will never be close.  She will never be like a real sister to me. She’ll only be Steve’s wife. I will never spend any time with her. I live too far away to ever get to know her as a sister.  I just don’t see it happening.”

With finality I closed the door on any type of relationship with my new sister-in-law, Bebe. I was extremely upset and hurt that my brother had left his wife of 30+ years and married this woman that none of us knew.

And then it happened. I got the phone call.

“Ellen, it’s Bebe. Steve and I are at Mom’s. It looks like she’s had a stroke! We’re waiting for the ambulance to take her to the hospital where I work.”

iPad Pictures 044The following two months were a roller coaster ride. On the high side, Mama knew who we were. When we walked into her room, she waved with her good left hand. It looked just like a Miss America wave! On the low side, the stroke had paralyzed her right side and she was unable to speak. In addition to the that, Mama developed pneumonia, and also suffered from congestive heart failure. Some days it seemed like she would be able to recover to an extent, and then days later she would crash.

Many times I had to get updates via text and phone, since I lived four hours away. I traveled to Mississippi as often as I could to be with Mama and my brothers after her stroke. It was a tough balancing act. During this time, I learned to rely on Bebe’s knowledge as a nurse. I knew nothing at all about medical issues. I was clueless.  Bebe was patient with me when I asked my usual 10,000 questions. She would explain the medical issues in simple terms that I could understand.

One afternoon, Bebe and I were the only ones in the room with Mama. As Mama slept, I visited with Bebe and had the opportunity to get to know her as more than Steve’s wife or Mama’s best and favorite nurse. It was so very obvious that she loved my Mama as her own.

Days turned into weeks, and finally the doctors admitted they could do nothing else for Mama.  They recommended a nursing home with hospice care. Her lungs were not strong enough to fight the effects of the stroke and ever-present pneumonia. But the doctor’s ways were not Bebe’s ways.

“Steve and I will move in with Mom, in her home, and I can take care of her…for however long she has left. She won’t have to go to a nursing home. With everyone’s help, Steve and I can do this.” And so they did.SONY DSC

Two weeks later, Mama was gone. She passed away peacefully, with Bebe and my brother Wayne at her side. In the minutes following Mama’s death, my brothers and I left her bedside to grieve elsewhere and make those hard, necessary phone calls. Not Bebe. She lovingly stayed by Mama and arranged the bedsheets. When I came back inside I noticed those small things: how neat Mama’s bedsheets were; how her pajamas were smooth and tidy; how her hands were delicately placed on the bed.

Bebe lovingly cared for Mama in life; and she lovingly cared for Mama in death. I learned to love her for the way she loved my Mama.

When Bebe first came into my life, I couldn’t see God’s bigger plan.  HE knew before the beginning of time that Mama would need Bebe. HE placed Bebe in our lives, just when we would need her most.

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,SONY DSC
Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord.

“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways
And My thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9 (NASB) 

God’s ways are not my ways. God’s provision is perfect no matter the circumstance. I just had to open my heart, swallow my pride, and receive His gift of a sister. 

This will be the third Thanksgiving without Mama. And while I miss her terribly, I am thankful that with the greatest loss I have ever suffered, I gained a sister.

Look around this Thanksgiving. Try to see your life from God’s eternal perspective. His plan is perfect. There is so much He wants to do for you and in you, if you will open your heart to Him!

Sovereign Lord, You are in control of even my most difficult circumstances. You knew me before I was born. You planned every person that has come into my life. You provide for my every need. I thank You! I open my heart to You and all You have planned for me, even if I can’t see it now. In the precious name of Jesus, Amen