Ellen Chauvin | Soaked & Sprouting

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Hope of Heaven in the Midst of Grief on Earth

March 4, 2021 by Ellen 4 Comments

Surely this year will start off better than last year ended. That was my hope as January rolled around. Sadly, things just didn’t work out the way I hoped. It seems as if my family would be walking through another season of grief. Hard, gut wrenching grief.

“…that you may not grieve as others who have no hope…” 1 Thessalonians 4:13b (ESV)

Honestly, I’d like to have a talk with the apostle Paul about this verse. We don’t grieve as unbelievers? Really?

“Excuse me, Mr. Apostle Paul, but I disagree with this scripture! Cause let me tell you, I can ugly cry with the best of those with no hope. I snot cry and wail in pain because it hurts that my loved one is no longer here. I can’t talk to them, have dinner with them, I can’t hug or touch them. Not only that, tears run from my eyes, snot pours from my nose and spit drips out of my gaping mouth. Yeah, I grieve. Really ugly grief. So, help me with this verse, please Mr. Apostle Paul!”

Physically, I DO grieve as those without hope. Spiritually, the hope I have should make my grief more bearable. After all, my hope as a believer is in a resurrected body and eternal life and heaven. My hope is that one day I will see my loved ones again. They will be part of the great cloud of witnesses that I hope will greet me when I walk through heaven’s gates. But there’s one thing:

It’s so hard to wrap my brain around eternal life when I am grieving here on earth. 

My hope is in heaven. I know this earth is not my home. I know this. But I struggle to imagine the reality of heaven. I know it has streets of gold (Revelation 21:21), but I know nothing about being there with my loved ones. I cannot visualize this (and I am a visual person!).

More grief grips my heart when reality sets in.  Those I’ve loved are no longer here with me. I’m left behind without them.  They are home, safe and sound, like after a long trip. They can exhale and rest in eternal peace; all of us here on earth are still traveling.  They are worshipping at the feet of Jesus; we are merely playing our worship music. We’re not jealous of them. Not exactly. We’re just longing to be home with them.

One commentary I read explained it this way: We have hope of spending eternity with Jesus. Instead of thinking about heaven with all my loved ones, I need to focus on life with Jesus. I need to change my perspective. Again, though, it’s hard to wrap my brain around a glorious future with Jesus. What does that even look like? My eyes are cloudy from the tears of my grief. My perspective is cloudy. 

I believe, but I can’t see.

With sorrow after sorrow piled high, the thought of eternal life with Jesus doesn’t console me like it should. It doesn’t fill the hole left in my heart. 

Something’s missing…

(Join me next week, as I continue pondering the hope we have.)

Grace be with you,

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Recording Your legacy

February 20, 2020 by Ellen 7 Comments

She cried out desperately in her pain. Calling to the Lord, she laid bare her struggles and fears. She acknowledged His faithfulness and sovereignty in her life, even through theses trials. She was clinging to the Lord God as to a lifeline.

She was me, nine years ago. 

Reading back through my prayer journal, I was struck at my utter desperation and dependance on the Lord. I addition, I saw all that He had done in my life. Little things. Things I had forgotten and would never remember again, save for the words written on the page. 

I saw the Lord’s faithfulness in my life; His promises fulfilled:

-I will never leave you or forsake you

-You are precious in my sight and I love you

-My grace is sufficient for you.

These memorial stones help me remember the ordinary and extraordinary. My words recorded on the page allow me to look back and see Jesus – in the good times and in the bad. He is there. Jehovah Shama⁠1.

Average days, boring most times. Yet, they are preserved as a legacy and testament to what God has done for me. I can share these stories with others. But only if I record them. Putting pen to paper makes them memorable, not forgettable. It makes them concrete, not a vapor.

Let this be recorded for future generations, so that a people not yet born will praise the Lord. Psalm 102:18 NLT

A friend recently told me “No, I don’t want to talk about that right now. I don’t want to think about that.” But sometimes we must. Journaling records our memories and helps sort through our emotions. Journaling can bring clarity.

The act of hand writing my prayers and journal entries is one way I process events unfolding in my life. Slowing down to write out my thoughts helps me to think more deeply about them. Recording them in a purposeful way opens my eyes to see how I may be reacting, or over reacting! On one occasion,  journaling helped me see the “other side” of a story, and filled me with compassion, replacing the anger that I had felt.

Open up my understanding to the ways of your wisdom and I will meditate deeply on your splendor and your wonders. Psalm 119:27 TPT

A prayer journal can help keep us focused on God’s Word. If a scripture causes us to pause, we can explore why. Writing out our questions helps us slow down and hear what He may be saying.  

“When I record in a journal my meditations on a passage of scripture, I can follow more closely the still, small voice of God as He Speaks through the text.”⁠2 

Am I a prolific journaler? No, indeed. It’s really hit or miss with me. That’s why I record many daily events in my prayer journal. I jot down a phrase or two about what has happened, just as a reminder to me what was going on in my world during that season. Often, I jot a “tweet length” description in my planner, and go back every week or so and expand and expound on those notes in my journal.  

Making memories, one tweet at a time!

What is your preferred method of journaling? Or recording what the Lord has done in your life? Leave a message, I’d love to hear!

Grace be with you,

 

 

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1 Ezekiel 48:35

2 Whitney, Donald S., Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life, NavPress 1991, page 209

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