Ponderings

If Apples Had Feelings

August 11, 2022 by Ellen Leave a Comment

It’s no fun thing to feel left out. Often, it can be downright hurtful. As a child, I was less than athletic. I was the last one chosen for dodge ball, kickball, or red rover. Nobody wants a pudgy little girl who can’t run fast.

My mind drifts back to those early years, as I peruse the apples in the produce section. I hand select just the perfect one: no spots; a deep, rich, burgundy color; and oh, so bright and shiny. I roll it around in my hand, and there I see it: all the bruised and battered spots. I leave the less-than apple and select a perfect one, with no signs of broken skin. I wonder “If apples had feelings, how does the mushy, bruised Gala feel right now?”

Probably like I felt as a child. Left out. Unwanted. Less than.

It amazes me that all these decades later, I still feel the pain of rejection. I think that each of us, in the deepest part of our souls, long to be wanted and known.

Even before He made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in His eyes. Ephesians 1:4 NLT

But God.

In His wisdom and sovereignty, He chose me. Not because of my clear, bright skin or my athletic ability, either. He chose me BEFORE the foundation of the world. Before I was formed in my mama’s womb, He knew me. I was hand selected by Him.

Chosen.

The Lord knows me intimately. And He chose me anyway! Why? First and foremost, because of His great love for me (and you, too!). Isaiah sheds more light on this for us. He tells us we are chosen to know God (Is 43:10).

We’re selected for a relationship with God through Jesus Christ our Savior. And it isn’t because of how we look, what we’ve done, or how we’ve turned out as adults. God chose us before He created the earth or any of us humans. In addition, His purpose is for us to be holy and without fault in His eyes. This can only be done through the blood of Jesus. In our humanness, we’ll never be holy enough.

Chosen.

How does that make me feel? Well, I can tell you this: NOT like that little elementary school girl who was embarrassed and ashamed that no one wanted her! And not like that apple that was left behind because of its bruises. I’m chosen in Christ, so I choose to hold my head high! Not because of pride, but simply because I’m wanted and loved – unconditionally!

“I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt so you would no longer be their slaves. I broke the yoke of slavery from your neck so you can walk with your heads held high.” Leviticus 26:13 NLT

Chosen.

To know God. To have a relationship with Him through Jesus. To be obedient.

How does being chosen by God change your outlook?

Grace be with you,

Do you know Jesus?

Hope of Heaven in the Midst of Grief on Earth

March 4, 2021 by Ellen 4 Comments

Surely this year will start off better than last year ended. That was my hope as January rolled around. Sadly, things just didn’t work out the way I hoped. It seems as if my family would be walking through another season of grief. Hard, gut wrenching grief.

“…that you may not grieve as others who have no hope…” 1 Thessalonians 4:13b (ESV)

Honestly, I’d like to have a talk with the apostle Paul about this verse. We don’t grieve as unbelievers? Really?

“Excuse me, Mr. Apostle Paul, but I disagree with this scripture! Cause let me tell you, I can ugly cry with the best of those with no hope. I snot cry and wail in pain because it hurts that my loved one is no longer here. I can’t talk to them, have dinner with them, I can’t hug or touch them. Not only that, tears run from my eyes, snot pours from my nose and spit drips out of my gaping mouth. Yeah, I grieve. Really ugly grief. So, help me with this verse, please Mr. Apostle Paul!”

Physically, I DO grieve as those without hope. Spiritually, the hope I have should make my grief more bearable. After all, my hope as a believer is in a resurrected body and eternal life and heaven. My hope is that one day I will see my loved ones again. They will be part of the great cloud of witnesses that I hope will greet me when I walk through heaven’s gates. But there’s one thing:

It’s so hard to wrap my brain around eternal life when I am grieving here on earth.

My hope is in heaven. I know this earth is not my home. I know this. But I struggle to imagine the reality of heaven. I know it has streets of gold (Revelation 21:21), but I know nothing about being there with my loved ones. I cannot visualize this (and I am a visual person!).

More grief grips my heart when reality sets in. Those I’ve loved are no longer here with me. I’m left behind without them. They are home, safe and sound, like after a long trip. They can exhale and rest in eternal peace; all of us here on earth are still traveling. They are worshipping at the feet of Jesus; we are merely playing our worship music. We’re not jealous of them. Not exactly. We’re just longing to be home with them.

One commentary I read explained it this way: We have hope of spending eternity with Jesus. Instead of thinking about heaven with all my loved ones, I need to focus on life with Jesus. I need to change my perspective. Again, though, it’s hard to wrap my brain around a glorious future with Jesus. What does that even look like? My eyes are cloudy from the tears of my grief. My perspective is cloudy.

I believe, but I can’t see.

With sorrow after sorrow piled high, the thought of eternal life with Jesus doesn’t console me like it should. It doesn’t fill the hole left in my heart.

Something’s missing…

(Join me next week, as I continue pondering the hope we have.)

Grace be with you,