Experiencing God - Ellen Chauvin | Soaked & Sprouting

Here I Am, Lord

July 5, 2014 by Ellen 13 Comments

My prayer had been Isaiah 6:8 “Here I am. Send me!” I had great visions of serving the Lord – perhaps on a cruise ship ministry in the Caribbean. I was looking forward to doing the Lord’s work!

It was quite evident that God didn’t share my vision when I received the call from Ministry Development asking if I would serve on the Stewardship Committee as chairperson. Stewardship? What happened to the sunny Caribbean? I knew then God had a sense of humor. I could imagine Him saying “Well, Ellen, it’s not a cruise ship, but it is stewardSHIP!”

I agreed to pray about it, knowing there were people more qualified than me to serve in that area.

My greatest fears were:

I don’t like public speaking. AT. ALL. I would have to stand in front of the congregation to present the quarterly financial reports. I felt so much like Moses: “O Lord, I’m not very good with words. I never have been, and I’m not now, even though You have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled. Lord, please! Send anyone else.” (Exodus 4:10, 13 NLT)
There was so much I DID NOT KNOW: the procedures and processes of the committee, how the different committees interact, etc.

After much prayer, I decided to step out in faith and obedience, and agreed to be the Chairperson. About a month after I made the decision, I read Isaiah 42:16:

“I will lead the blind by a way they DO NOT KNOW, in paths they DO NOT KNOW, I will guide them. I will make darkness into light before them and rugged places into plains. These are the things I will do, and I will not leave them undone.”

The Lord was telling me He would take care of me, and lead me through this area of service. I was in awe! O Lord, You would guide me? You would make darkness into light for me?

And then, just when I was becoming a bit more comfortable as chairperson, I found out I would have to present a motion to the church regarding the sanctuary renovation. The motion would state that if not enough money was raised in our capital campaign, the church would take out a line of credit. Debt. Our church doesn’t have debt. It could be a major point of contention in the congregation.

Now it’s time for a confession. I am a closet drama queen. To say that I was in a panic at having to present this controversial motion would be an understatement. My stomach was in knots. What do I say? How do I present a motion like this? I prayed over it in agony every day.

A week before the presentation, the Lord brought this scripture before me:

Luke 12:11-12 “When they bring you before the synagogues and the rulers and the authorities, do not worry about how or what you are to speak in your defense, or what you are to say; for the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say.”

My prayer that morning was “Lord, I know I’ve got to walk this by faith. But I’m praying You will give me the words BEFORE the very hour I have to get up and present the motion!”

The Sunday of the presentation was a busy one, which was good. I didn’t have a lot of time to dwell on making the motion. Getting dressed that morning, I went over all the information regarding the renovation. The money we had…the money we needed…the capital campaign we were planning. EVERY piece of information I had, I reviewed that morning. I tried to think of any and all questions the congregation might ask me.

Suddenly an odd question popped into my head: What if we can’t collect 100% of all the pledges we receive? And just as quickly, an answer popped into my head: We will take a percentage of the pledges we receive, say 85%, and use that as a “good” or “collectible” number for estimating our sanctuary renovation funds.

Once at church, it was back-to-back activity and meetings: 9:00 a.m. greet, 9:15 Sunday School, 10:30 Worship Service, 4 p.m. New Members class, 5 p.m. Prayer Ministry meeting, 6:30 p.m. MOTION BY THE STEWARDSHIP COMMITTEE. I was beside myself with nerves. I remember praying throughout the day, “Lord, this isn’t about me. This is about You and bringing glory and honor to You.”

Finally it was time. I was scared spit-less. (You know, when your mouth is so dry you can’t even make spit?) Voice shaking, I presented the motion. I held my breath as I waited for questions.

First questioner: “How much money is needed for the renovations?” I gave the answer, thankful that I knew it! I watched as the second person came forward to ask a question. I know her, she is a sweet woman. Kind of off the wall a bit, but very sweet. What on earth could she want to ask? You never knew what might come out of her mouth.

Question: “What happens if the pledges cover the amount we need, but we can’t collect on them?” Oh my. OH MY. That was the question and answer that just “happened” to pop into my head earlier. I had an answer! And it was a good one! Now, I know the Lord blessed me with brains, but NO WAY could that answer have come from me. That was His answer to me, in the very hour I needed it!

The enormity of what happened didn’t hit me until 3 a.m. I awoke overwhelmed by God’s love, grace and mercy. Overwhelmed by how He answered my prayers and provided for me. Overwhelmed that through His Word, He promised He would give me an answer. And He did! He did that for me.

Even though I didn’t get the cruise ship ministry, I experienced God and His lovingkindness. I experienced His answered prayers and promises first hand.

That’s better than the sunny Caribbean any day!

Photography by John Chauvin

Linking up today with Tell Me a True Story!

Grace, Grace, God’s Grace

March 9, 2014 by Ellen 30 Comments

I got the call while I was in the checkout line, unloading my groceries. It had been four weeks since my mama had her stroke.

“Ellen, it’s Bebe. I just need to let you know that Mom is so tired, so very tired. I don’t think you need to travel up here tonight, but she is just so very tired…”

Tears immediately flooded my eyes and began rolling down my checks. In the next few seconds, I was sobbing while I tried to talk to my sister-in-law.

“Tell her…” I gasped, tears streaming.

“That…” Sobbing, gasping.

“I love her.” Hysterical crying, gasping for air…

“Tell her…

She’s fought hard…
That it’s ok…

I know she’s tired.”

The cashier overheard my side of the conversation, and saw tears streaming down my face, snot dripping out of my nose, and drool trickling down the corner of my mouth. She quietly pulled four or five paper towels from her roll and handed them to me. I wiped away all the wetness (except for the tears that would not stop) and tried paying for my groceries. My debit card didn’t work. I was numb and stood there staring at the cashier. That sweet girl grabbed the card from my hand, and swiped it as a credit card. She never said a word. I thanked her with my eyes, and rolled the grocery cart through the doors. The alarm sounded! Weeping, I looked back with a question on my tear splotched face. She waved me through. She never spoke – just saw my heartache, my pain, and silently took care of me. She was the hands and feet of Jesus for me in that moment.

I wailed and screamed and wept on the drive home.

“God, please, I’m not ready to lose my mama! Please, not yet. It hurts! I’m not ready. Please, Lord, not yet!”

The next morning, I called to check on Mama. My brother said “Oh, she’s doing a lot better!” But I heard the sadness in his voice…

I drove the four hours to Jackson. When I walked in to her hospital room, Mama looked scared, tired and drawn. She was subdued. Did she know she had almost died?

Over the next several days, Mama slept a lot. When she was awake, she wanted to hold on to my hand – very unusual for my independent, strong Mama. While I sat there holding her hand, I read scriptures to her. The truth of God’s word comforted me as much as it calmed Mama.

Late one afternoon, I finally had to make the decision to return home. I leaned over Mama, gave her a big hug and kiss, and told her I loved her. I turned, before she could see my tears, and practically ran down the hall. Then I heard it:

“No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!” With that one long word, my mama begged me not to go. Her one word plea ripped the heart right out of my chest.

During the four hour drive home, I tried to sort out all the things rolling around in my mind. I was overwhelmed with, and drowning in my circumstances. I was worried about my mom. I didn’t want her to hurt or be afraid. I didn’t want to lose her. Over the past few weeks I had heard this often from my friends: “God’s grace will get you through!” Really?? How??

I knew the textbook definition of grace: God’s unmerited favor, a gift He gives that is undeserved. But how could that free gift of His get me through THIS? Where was this grace everyone talks about?

Over the next few days, I searched His Word and found this scripture:

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (italics mine): But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

I dug further, and found a sermon by John MacArthur with this description: Grace is God’s supernatural provision for our every need, when we need it. (“The Sufficiency of God’s Grace” sermon 6/24/90).

I needed that supernatural power and provision of God. And in my weakness – in my inability to emotionally handle this crisis – He met me. When I came to the end of my own ability, God met me with an abundance of grace. And it was sufficient.

When I got the phone call in the grocery store, His grace was sufficient.
When I heard Mama begging me not to go, His grace was sufficient.
While I was holding my Mama’s hand, expecting her to die, His grace was sufficient.

My head knowledge, my book knowledge, had turned into heart knowledge as I experienced God’s supernatural grace in my life. His perfect power took over when my weakness overwhelmed me.

Are you drowning in your circumstances, or flooded with His grace?

Thank You, Lord God, for Your amazing grace!

Photos by John Chauvin

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