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Against the Grain: Loving my Sandpaper People

October 18, 2014 by Ellen 25 Comments

Celebrating one year of blogging! From the archives:Happy Anniversary Ordinary1

I have people. In my life. They irritate me. It’s hard to be around them. They are a thorn in my side. They are my sandpaper people.

Sandpaper People: Those people who are abrasive, irritating or generally rough to be around.

They are mine because the Lord has placed them in my life. Forever? Until tomorrow? I don’t know.

The other day my sandpaper people were out in full force, assaulting me. They scraped the dry, cracked, skin right off my arms. They pushed every button I have, and then pushed them again! They were irritating and hard to be around.

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I prayed “Lord, help me to deal with this person!”

He replied, “Look at this person. They just want to BE someone. They want to be acknowledged. They want to feel like they matter.”

I saw their huge ego; Christ saw the huge hurt in their heart.

I prayed “Lord, I can hardly tolerate this person. They are so loud and obnoxious – help me!”

He replied, “Listen to them. They just want to be loved and needed. They just want someone to respond to their voice with kindness. Can’t you do that?”

I heard their loud, offensive voice. He heard their cry for help.

During my devotional time, I have been working through “Experiencing God” by Henry and Richard Blackaby. The lesson that very irritating day was this:

Watch to see where God is working, and join Him.

I cried out “Lord, where are You at work HERE?

He replied, “This is where I’m working, Ellen – I’m working in you. I want you to see their pain. I want you to love the unlovable. I’m working in you…won’t you join me?”

And so I did. I prayed in repentance asking forgiveness for my self-centered tunnel vision. I prayed for patience. I prayed for eyes to see them the way Christ saw them: hurting people who need to be shown love and compassion.

God was at work. He was using the sandpaper people to polish my rough edges. He was smoothing out the grit and hard places on me, polishing me into the shining image of His Son Jesus.

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Will I allow the sandpaper people to scrape me up? Or will I allow God to smooth me out? Will I join God where He’s working – even when He’s working on me? Was I willing?

Are you willing?

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Colossians 3:13-14 (NLT) Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.

Linking with Holly Barrett at Testimony Tuesday, Jennifer Dukes Lee Tell His Story and Holly Gerth Coffee for Your Heart!

Photography by John Chauvin

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Filed Under: Forgiveness Tagged With: Sandpaper people

Comments

  1. Debbie Eubanks says

    June 21, 2014 at 4:11 pm

    God strategically places sandpaper people in our lives to mold us into the person He wants us to be. May we always remember that His perfect plan will ultimately benefit us as well! I have made the song “Give Me Your Eyes” my so-called theme song when it comes to loving on those who rub me the wrong way… Every encounter is truly a divine appointment in sharing His love with others around us <3 Thanks for the reminder and encouraging us to embrace our sandpaper peeps 🙂

    Reply
  2. Doris S. Swift says

    June 23, 2014 at 8:16 pm

    Love the term sandpaper people! Great post Ellen, and asks an important question in an awesome sticky statement.

    Reply
    • Ellen Chauvin says

      June 23, 2014 at 8:55 pm

      Ah, thanks so much Doris! Thanks for stopping by!

      Reply
  3. passagethroughgrace says

    June 24, 2014 at 8:28 pm

    Beautiful analogy! I love the perspective of how God is looking at people that are abrasive to us because our view is many time so stilted. I am willing to join God where He is working! Blessed to be visiting you from Holly’s place!

    Reply
    • Ellen Chauvin says

      June 24, 2014 at 9:09 pm

      So glad you stopped by! Thank you for your comments!

      Reply
  4. cmjenniferm says

    June 24, 2014 at 11:49 pm

    Forgiveness is a blessing when given and when received.

    Reply
    • Ellen Chauvin says

      June 25, 2014 at 6:28 am

      Yes it is indeed! Thanks so much for stopping by!

      Reply
  5. Kym Thorpe says

    June 25, 2014 at 7:01 am

    We all have those “sandpaper people” in our lives – I certainly do! Thanks for the reminder to see past the irritating behaviors to their hearts. And I love the term too!

    Reply
    • Ellen Chauvin says

      June 25, 2014 at 8:40 am

      Thank you Kym! So thankful you stopped by today!

      Reply
  6. Ann says

    June 25, 2014 at 11:59 pm

    What is it about relationships and change. When we disagree or don’t get along, we automatically ask God to change the other person. This was a great reminder that the change often begins (and sometimes ends) from within.

    Reply
  7. Holly Barrett says

    June 26, 2014 at 6:56 am

    Oh I have some sandpaper people too! But it’s so true that when I think God is working on them through me, He’s really working on me through them. Thanks for sharing at Testimony Tuesday, Ellen!

    Reply
    • Ellen Chauvin says

      June 26, 2014 at 7:12 am

      Absolutely Holly! Thanks for stopping by!

      Reply
  8. Ellen Chauvin says

    June 26, 2014 at 7:11 am

    Amen Ann! We must start with ourselves!

    Reply
  9. Meredith Bernard says

    June 26, 2014 at 7:18 am

    There is great insight here, Ellen! I have plenty of sandpaper people, as well. And I’ve done that same bible study and it is AWESOME. I did it several years ago and still think very often about what it taught. That very lesson you mention being one of the main things I took away. God is ALWAYS at work around me, and He always has a role for me to play…if I’m willing to stop looking in and look out. Thank you for sharing this! xoxo, Meredith

    Reply
  10. Ellen Chauvin says

    June 26, 2014 at 9:53 am

    Thanks so much for stopping by Meredith! And thank you for your encouraging comments!

    Reply
  11. dukeslee says

    June 26, 2014 at 3:15 pm

    Oh Ellen… Such a good word. Thank you for your insights. Grateful for you sharing with us in community at #TellHisStory. The great thing about sandpaper, is that whatever it touches generally turns out much more beautiful. Think, antique tractors and refurbished wood furniture. The abrasive texture makes something truly beautiful.

    Reply
    • Ellen Chauvin says

      June 26, 2014 at 3:25 pm

      And so very thankful for the “refurbishing” by my peeps! Thanks so much for stopping by! I appreciate you!

      Reply
  12. ambercadenas says

    July 8, 2014 at 6:45 pm

    Oh goodness, Ellen. I work in customer service and I’ve been feeling a little edgier lately. A shorter fuse. Having a harder time seeing people beyond what comes across as annoyances. I resonate with your honesty here and I thank you. And I thank you for reminding me to see where God is working and join him. He’s working in ME. He’s working in you. So grateful. Joining you from Unforced Rhythms.

    Reply
    • Ellen Chauvin says

      July 8, 2014 at 8:52 pm

      Hi Amber, thanks so much for your thoughtful comment and for stopping by! Yes, I’m so very grateful also, that we have a God who loves us just as we are, but also loves us so much He wants us to become more like Him! I’m thankful He won’t give up on us!

      Reply
  13. Renee@Doorkeeper says

    July 10, 2014 at 7:06 am

    It’s hard to submit to the sandpaper people & allow God to use them to do His work. Love your perspective & encouragement! I’m your neighbor at Unforced Rhythms. Blessings!

    Reply
    • Ellen Chauvin says

      July 10, 2014 at 8:25 am

      Thanks so much for stopping by Renee! I appreciate your comments!

      Reply
  14. Barbara says

    October 18, 2014 at 4:40 pm

    ah, the wonderful sandpaper people. Great post Ellen. So much truth. There is a great book called Sandpaper People by Mary Southerland that I read a few years ago. I still refer to it at times. BTW Happy Anniversary!

    Reply
  15. Ellen Chauvin says

    October 19, 2014 at 7:00 am

    I have heard of that book, but never read it…probably should! Thanks for stopping by!

    Reply
  16. marykatbpcsc45 says

    October 21, 2014 at 8:04 pm

    I have been impatient with my sandpaper person today. I guess I need some refining. Thanks for the simple essay that brought home a valuable point.

    Reply
    • Ellen Chauvin says

      October 21, 2014 at 8:20 pm

      Thank you Mary! Thanks for stopping by!

      Reply

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