She THREW ME UNDER THE BUS!!
We were presenting our professional organization to the parish government, to get a framed “proclamation” of an upcoming special event.
The parish president asked my associate “What does your organization do in the community?”
I watched her closely, knowing she was nervous about public speaking. The blood drained slowly from her face. I watched as, inch by inch, her tanned face changed to white ash. Her body was frigid with fear. Eyes wide in near panic, she looked at me. Then she waved her hands toward ME to speak.
WHAT!?! I don’t speak in front of people! Especially without notes!
I’m not sure exactly what I said. I’m fairly certain my w-w-words s-p-p-puttered out slowly, and my voice was shaking like I was shivering in a blizzard.
Lesson learned: don’t go to a presentation with someone who is MORE AFRAID of public speaking than you!
I wonder if Aaron, Moses brother, felt like he was thrown under the bus?
Moses spoke to the LORD. He said, “Lord, I’ve never been a good speaker. And I haven’t gotten any better since you spoke to me. I don’t speak very well at all.” The LORD said to him, “Who makes a man able to talk? Who makes him unable to hear or speak? Who makes him able to see? Who makes him blind? It is I, the LORD. Now go. I will help you speak. I will teach you what to say.”
But Moses said, “Lord, please send someone else to do it.”
Then the LORD’s anger burned against Moses. He said, “What about your brother, Aaron the Levite? I know he can speak well. He is already on his way to meet you. He will be glad to see you. Speak to him. Put your words in his mouth. Tell him what to say. I will help both of you speak. I will teach you what to do. He will speak to the people for you. He will be like your mouth. And you will be like God to him.
Exodus 4:10-16 New International Reader’s Version
“H-h-h-here I am Lord, send Aaron.”
What on earth was Moses thinking? Didn’t he remember the burning bush, standing on holy ground and God calling him to lead the people of Israel to freedom (Exodus 3)?
Goodness, that would be like me saying “Ya know God, I appreciate the offer, but I can’t. Maybe try my friend Beth. Or Carmen! She’d be great! But please don’t send me.”
And I have done that. Well, maybe not that obvious. But yes, I’ve ignored the prompting of God. And I’ve tried to reason with Him.
“God, there are so many others who are better qualified than me. I don’t think I can do this!”
I imagine God answering “Well, of COURSE you can’t do this Ellen! Not in your own strength! You. Need. Me. Depend on Me. Trust Me.”
Look what God tells Moses: I will help you. I will teach you.
Funny thing: When I did say Yes, and took that leap of faith, God did for me what He promised to do for Moses. He helped me. He taught me. And yes, He put words in my mouth!
Those are the times that will build your faith in Him, and strengthen the intimacy you have with Him.
Grace be with you,